I also loved the interview and look forward to the documentary. It was about three years ago that my sister let our siblings know that Dan, her spouse of 35 years, would henceforth be Danielle. We have a big extended multi-generational family who were all very supportive. Danielle is now 68 and has known since they were a kid that they were female. The most poignant part of it all for me is that when he (then) finally told my sister and she asked why it had taken so long, he (then) said, "I was afraid you wouldn't love me anymore." And yet, they are both solidly progressive, politically active people who've had a close and strong marriage, so Dan's fear was completely irrational, but no less fierce for all that. In the decades that I've known Dan, I always found him to be one of the most intelligent, interesting, caring, delightful people I know. But when I first met Danielle, she had a relaxed ease about her that Dan never had. I mentioned it to my wife and she saw the same thing. It really brought home to me how soul-sucking it can be to live your life with the weight of that secret. Beth & Danielle live in a small, mostly conservative town in Wisconsin and have many stories to tell about the surprising amount of support and acceptance they've found there. And I'm so grateful that our society is inching its way toward that kind of support being the norm.
What a wonderful, heart-warming story. I am so glad Dan opened up this way and I so understand the fear of not being loved by people who love you. The feeling of not fitting is stressful, so I fully get the point about not being relaxed. For me, it was just not being myself, fully. More power to him and to them both.
This is great, Abby. We're going to need so much more of this outreach and education, unless Trump is elected, in which case, we'll just revert to 1950s style paranoia.
I also loved the interview and look forward to the documentary. It was about three years ago that my sister let our siblings know that Dan, her spouse of 35 years, would henceforth be Danielle. We have a big extended multi-generational family who were all very supportive. Danielle is now 68 and has known since they were a kid that they were female. The most poignant part of it all for me is that when he (then) finally told my sister and she asked why it had taken so long, he (then) said, "I was afraid you wouldn't love me anymore." And yet, they are both solidly progressive, politically active people who've had a close and strong marriage, so Dan's fear was completely irrational, but no less fierce for all that. In the decades that I've known Dan, I always found him to be one of the most intelligent, interesting, caring, delightful people I know. But when I first met Danielle, she had a relaxed ease about her that Dan never had. I mentioned it to my wife and she saw the same thing. It really brought home to me how soul-sucking it can be to live your life with the weight of that secret. Beth & Danielle live in a small, mostly conservative town in Wisconsin and have many stories to tell about the surprising amount of support and acceptance they've found there. And I'm so grateful that our society is inching its way toward that kind of support being the norm.
What a wonderful, heart-warming story. I am so glad Dan opened up this way and I so understand the fear of not being loved by people who love you. The feeling of not fitting is stressful, so I fully get the point about not being relaxed. For me, it was just not being myself, fully. More power to him and to them both.
This is great, Abby. We're going to need so much more of this outreach and education, unless Trump is elected, in which case, we'll just revert to 1950s style paranoia.
I still find your bravery inspiring.
Jon
Thanks, Jon. It's going to be a long effort. Glad to have you along on the path.
though of you as I watched Will and trans friend traverse America ..very interesting and thoughtful