Great writing Abby. Yes, one must choose consciously how they are willing to embrace and respect others. Thank you for this piece. I hope more folks like Bruce have a chance to read it.
Happening in Tel Aviv this month (reported in Haaretz English Edition, Mar 24, 2024)
"In the last decade, transgender people have become the most persecuted LGBTQ subgroup in the West, tormented by right-wingers and loathsome opinion makers. While public expressions of homophobia have become a clear faux pas, transphobia has become an acceptable form of hatred against a minority. That makes International Transgender Day of Visibility, which will be celebrated around the world on March 31, all the more important.
"All day on March 28, the Tel Aviv Cinematheque will be showing movies on the trans experience. This will include films such as the documentary "Who I Am Not" on two South African intersex people on a voyage of self-discovery, the 2022 Korean drama "Peafowl" on a transgender dancer in Seoul dealing with her father's death, the 2023 American drama "Mutt" on a day in the life of a trans man in New York City, and the 2023 Polish-Swedish drama "Woman Of…" on a father who experiences gender dysphoria.
"Also this month, the new Hebrew-language website Maayan will be providing free resources for parents of children on the gender spectrum with insightful translated documents, research, guides and Q&As."
So how am I to know how to adress people that I see for the first time??
Should I assume that a lady (apparently) with tatoos is Gay?
Should I assume a male ( apparently) with green hair is queer?
You are asking a great deal of people about how to greet people and making demands on me to know intuitively how to adress some one..Are name tags necessary???
My Unitarian church has people with name tags!!! what should I call myself...
Binary, trans, uni, bi, or just normal...
labels are very confusing and are they necessary...
You are bringing up several interconnected issues: the historical and anthropological story of gender and sexual fluidity
And
How does language change.
I absolutely agree that gender and sexual fluidity have always existed.
I don't know when gender became so rigidly defined. It is tragic that it became such a binary argument.
I absolutely agree that everything is on a spectrum. Even though we tend to want to categorize as if categorization is the only way to bring order to chaos, life is not easily organized.
And
Language makes a difference.
As you pointed out some languages have never had gender specific pronouns. Others have multiple pronouns. The etiology of how one language developed in one direction and another language developed in contrast is a question I have no answer to. Perhaps someone has studied this.
And language is fluid. It changes from one way of describing something to another way.
Take the way women have been addressed through our history: Mistress, Mrs., Miss, and Ms. The connotations of the various titles have also changed. ( read New Republic article When 'Mistress' Meant 'Mrs.' and 'Miss' Meant 'Prostitute'
Women in modern English speaking countries fought for the right to have their marital status kept private as was men's. Coming out of a history where women were expected to be stay at home mothers or teachers, nurses or secretaries, this bold move to keep their identity focused not on their marital status but rather on their capabilities is a long fought battle. The women of the womens' movement fought hard to implement the change from Mrs/Miss to Ms.
At first it was awkward and clumsy to refer to women as Ms. Now it is standard.
My connection to the argument for changing how we use pronouns is that the idea of introducing ourselves by preferred pronouns is very new. The idea that when meeting someone it should be standard to ask "how do you identify" is not even a generation old. Or even introducing ourselves by our name and pronoun preferences should be standard. I am a staunch LGBTQIA ally and I only began to have conversations about gender identity and pronoun preferences about 10 years ago. Even though it is deeply part of the LGBTQIA community, like the women's lib movement, the discussions and debates are somewhat limited to within the community.
As with the women's lib movement there was deep prejudicial antagonism from traditionalists.
I have faith, that, with time, it will become normal to identify our preferred pronouns. And
this is a beginning and having conversations like this is vital, it will take time for people to make the shift.
call me ancient but I prefer to be called by my first name period..
LBGTDERGER..IS NOT ONLY Confusing but asking someone to know more information about
me than is necessary . It is also putting demands on speech.. I am a long time Unitarian and still confused and frankly unconfortable with all this pronoun stuff..
This is an exciting and informative essay. Question: Why is Queer capitalized while trans, male, etc., are not. Also, What does the letter A stand for in the string LGBTI, etc.? Asexual? Last, you explain 2S, yet what is the + following it? This post is easy for me to read and has credibility. Why? You are speaking from your own lived experience. When you post about area code +972, you lose me. Why? You are writing about events, personalities, histories, narratives, diets, occupations, preoccupations, traditions, and languages beyond your or your ancestors' lived experiences.
Great writing Abby. Yes, one must choose consciously how they are willing to embrace and respect others. Thank you for this piece. I hope more folks like Bruce have a chance to read it.
Thank you for writing this clear and informative piece in favor of sharing pronouns!
Happening in Tel Aviv this month (reported in Haaretz English Edition, Mar 24, 2024)
"In the last decade, transgender people have become the most persecuted LGBTQ subgroup in the West, tormented by right-wingers and loathsome opinion makers. While public expressions of homophobia have become a clear faux pas, transphobia has become an acceptable form of hatred against a minority. That makes International Transgender Day of Visibility, which will be celebrated around the world on March 31, all the more important.
"All day on March 28, the Tel Aviv Cinematheque will be showing movies on the trans experience. This will include films such as the documentary "Who I Am Not" on two South African intersex people on a voyage of self-discovery, the 2022 Korean drama "Peafowl" on a transgender dancer in Seoul dealing with her father's death, the 2023 American drama "Mutt" on a day in the life of a trans man in New York City, and the 2023 Polish-Swedish drama "Woman Of…" on a father who experiences gender dysphoria.
"Also this month, the new Hebrew-language website Maayan will be providing free resources for parents of children on the gender spectrum with insightful translated documents, research, guides and Q&As."
So how am I to know how to adress people that I see for the first time??
Should I assume that a lady (apparently) with tatoos is Gay?
Should I assume a male ( apparently) with green hair is queer?
You are asking a great deal of people about how to greet people and making demands on me to know intuitively how to adress some one..Are name tags necessary???
My Unitarian church has people with name tags!!! what should I call myself...
Binary, trans, uni, bi, or just normal...
labels are very confusing and are they necessary...
Jo she/her
You are bringing up several interconnected issues: the historical and anthropological story of gender and sexual fluidity
And
How does language change.
I absolutely agree that gender and sexual fluidity have always existed.
I don't know when gender became so rigidly defined. It is tragic that it became such a binary argument.
I absolutely agree that everything is on a spectrum. Even though we tend to want to categorize as if categorization is the only way to bring order to chaos, life is not easily organized.
And
Language makes a difference.
As you pointed out some languages have never had gender specific pronouns. Others have multiple pronouns. The etiology of how one language developed in one direction and another language developed in contrast is a question I have no answer to. Perhaps someone has studied this.
And language is fluid. It changes from one way of describing something to another way.
Take the way women have been addressed through our history: Mistress, Mrs., Miss, and Ms. The connotations of the various titles have also changed. ( read New Republic article When 'Mistress' Meant 'Mrs.' and 'Miss' Meant 'Prostitute'
https://newrepublic.com/article/119432/history-female-titles-mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms)
Women in modern English speaking countries fought for the right to have their marital status kept private as was men's. Coming out of a history where women were expected to be stay at home mothers or teachers, nurses or secretaries, this bold move to keep their identity focused not on their marital status but rather on their capabilities is a long fought battle. The women of the womens' movement fought hard to implement the change from Mrs/Miss to Ms.
At first it was awkward and clumsy to refer to women as Ms. Now it is standard.
My connection to the argument for changing how we use pronouns is that the idea of introducing ourselves by preferred pronouns is very new. The idea that when meeting someone it should be standard to ask "how do you identify" is not even a generation old. Or even introducing ourselves by our name and pronoun preferences should be standard. I am a staunch LGBTQIA ally and I only began to have conversations about gender identity and pronoun preferences about 10 years ago. Even though it is deeply part of the LGBTQIA community, like the women's lib movement, the discussions and debates are somewhat limited to within the community.
As with the women's lib movement there was deep prejudicial antagonism from traditionalists.
I have faith, that, with time, it will become normal to identify our preferred pronouns. And
this is a beginning and having conversations like this is vital, it will take time for people to make the shift.
call me ancient but I prefer to be called by my first name period..
LBGTDERGER..IS NOT ONLY Confusing but asking someone to know more information about
me than is necessary . It is also putting demands on speech.. I am a long time Unitarian and still confused and frankly unconfortable with all this pronoun stuff..
I learned this today about my transestors!
https://youtu.be/lWNZSPelBYk?si=1saITSrzxUOdWFok
This is an exciting and informative essay. Question: Why is Queer capitalized while trans, male, etc., are not. Also, What does the letter A stand for in the string LGBTI, etc.? Asexual? Last, you explain 2S, yet what is the + following it? This post is easy for me to read and has credibility. Why? You are speaking from your own lived experience. When you post about area code +972, you lose me. Why? You are writing about events, personalities, histories, narratives, diets, occupations, preoccupations, traditions, and languages beyond your or your ancestors' lived experiences.
Tel Aviv Trans Center (Hebrew, Arabic, English options)
https://www.transcenter.org.il/en?fbclid=IwAR1iXq-cXUmkbG1U6w5Jc8OLPNdtVruf722d4D7xNsdx7FyEEWBSH_AiGlM_aem_AZRwvIYiehIx6eOtVcOhvuSzZ2t41kjsU7gbMJ1SzgNIMCLHBw0SBwa_wqpwLnqUnhalZoLxMmgTjO4kOPaeRNZd